The Schlager Files: Section 6: Latina Lovelies

 

One of the most entertaining forms of schlager music is when it takes on the guise of latin music. Not only is the song ALWAYS good and the performance ALWAYS incredible, but we also derive great amusement from the fact that Scandinavian writers ALWAYS feel the need to throw every tired latino cliché into the mix when they make these songs! What do people of Spanish descent like to do with their days? Why they love to dance the dance of love with each other, that’s what! Viva la fiesta etc etc! They’re all meeting each other whilst doing a rumba on the dancefloor, exchanging phone numbers via a cha-cha-cha, spending first dates embraced in a tango, and then conducting a salsa down a back alley. Syncopation is a must, and it’s vital to literally throw the performer around the dancefloor regardless of their inability to hold a satisfactory breathing technique. The signature elements of schlager are still evident, but they’re multiplied and intensified – as volume and bpm are used by the writers and producers as being indicative of latino musical passion!

And here are the three best examples of this very special sub genre of schlager!

 

3. Guri Schanke – ‘Ven A Bailar Conmigo’

Out of all three of these performance, Guri’s is the least ludicrous – and given the fact that she’s approaching 50 and dirty dancing with two gents twenty years her junior, well that just goes to show you what we’re talking about here. We loved Guri’s performance though. It was as polished to perfection as her legs obviously had been that morning! Said legs barely touched the ground – and when they did, they were walking seductively back and forth the stage, with one guy behind her and one guy in front. It’s a marvellous example of a schlager dame using latin rhythms to seduce the man of her dreams – all quick jerk hips and shoulders, topped off with a threatening grin! And of course there were TWO different costume changes, although we’ve always wondered why she left them so late – the last one occurs with less than five seconds to go until the end of the song. But she finishes off sat atop the shoulders of two men to heighten its impact!

 

2. Petra Nielsen – ‘Tango Tango’

You know what you’re getting with that title don’t you?! Phew, this performance is quite something. The speed at which she glides across the stage is mightily impressive, and she’s flanked the whole time by two unrelenting male admirers. The tone is set right at the beginning when the two guys put a whole performances worth of energy into the intro. Then Petra is revealed, wearing a dress which has black and red stripes to warn of her poisonous taste, and horizontal stripes at that, to accentuate her bust! ‘Tango Tango’ not only displays espanola seduction in its choreography, the lyrics also inform the listener step by step exactly what Petra is doing, and how and why she’s doing it. It’s tango by numbers – and calculated perfectly!

1. Anna Book – ‘Samba Sambero’

From the berserk intro to the manic key change, this song really doesn’t let up. The whole three minutes is an eye opening, mind boggling display of breathless vocals being delivered by a raving woman in time to frenzied horns and demented beats. And we absolutely adore it. It’s one of our favourite schlager songs and performances of all time, and it probably gets the best reaction out of any song we’ve ever played at the scandipop club nights. It’s just unadulterated fun in the form of a song. And what makes the song even more fun, is that it’s taking on the form of a genre that’s the polar opposite of what everyone involved in the track is normally used to! Samba Sambero indeed!

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